The human experience is profoundly driven by the core desires to find meaningful self-expression, zest for life, and inner peace. However, some of our fixed habits and attitudes act as serious impediments in attaining the goal. Unless we stop or drop them, they can mar our authenticity, sap our energy, and snatch peace of mind. These self-debilitating attitudes are:  Attachment, Blame-game, and Comparisons, ABC, so to say.

A- Attachment: Be it relationship, money, or material things, our selfish attachment with them belittles us. By limiting the circle of ‘us’, we shrink our hearts. The self-centeredness emanating from obsession with private possessions prohibits us to think with open-heartedness and positivity, thus incapacitating us to grow for the greater good.

B- Blame-game: The inconveniences or problems we face daily are many and often unavoidable. Though, we can view them as opportunities, learnings, or resilience tests, yet, we engage in blame-game, as an easy escape route to avoid guilt, accountability, or prove our flawlessness. The habit of whining, and defending ourselves, not only makes us miserable, but also blocks us from getting others’ feedback or sage advice. This stalls our ability to realize our potential, and lead a fulfilling life.

C- Comparisons: Thanks to social media, we now constantly compare ourselves to others. The habit is a common recipe for frustration, jealousy, and dissatisfaction. Creating unrealistic expectations and feelings of inadequacy, the comparisons adversely impact our self-esteem and well-being. “Comparison is the thief of joy”, Theodore Roosevelt had warned us. A life lived in comparison is indeed a life lived in misery.

Abandon Ingrained Habits

Once we realize the harm the three ingrained habits or attitudes do to us, and decide to abandon them, we get empowered to discover renewed X-Factor, Y-Youthfulness, and Z-Zen-like tranquil mind, XYZ, so to say.

X-Factor: Shunning ABCs can be transformative. The abandonment gives us a bandwidth to adopt new qualities in life, and construct our personality that is different from the crowd, and the ordinary. Passing through the process of this change, we gradually build a character of our inner self. A new nature, with positive virtues, is born, and we genuinely start living that creative expression - as X Factor- before the world.

Y- Youthfulness: Our preoccupation with ABC depletes our energy, curiosity, agility of mind, and zest for life. Indeed, we get old not by ageing alone but also because we befriend ABC. Self-renewal demands that we ring out the debilitating habits and mindsets, and ring in meaningful engagements with the present, filled with fresh and youthful wisdom.

Z- Zen-like peace of mind: In an age of constant noise and hurry, we can reclaim balance by cultivating positive habits. Dropping ABC can help us in developing an attitude of serenity, contentment, letting go, and gratitude. With this mind, quality time with nature, or other soul-uplifting activities, can heal us. All this, in turn, can create a sanctuary of tranquility, peace, and happiness within us.

(The writer is a former Indian banker and adviser, Union Public Service Commission (UPSC). Views are personal. He can be contacted at rkrishnasinha@hotmail.com)