The fulsome and whole-hearted tributes pouring in for Dr. Manmohan Singh, who died last week at age 92, tell us about the man and the leader that the former prime minister was but they also tell us much more. For one, they bring to the fore the qualities that we like in all people, more so in those we call leaders. These are the very qualities that have all but disappeared from the treasury benches since Dr. Singh left office as prime minister in 2014.

The qualities include the idea of grace, the charm of the understated, a restrained manner of speaking, an approach marked by humanity, a distinct sense of simplicity and humility, a keen sense of listening and a resolute refusal to use words that can cause hurt. Add to that a sense of hesitancy if not an outright refusal to land a punch, and a quick withdrawal of anything that might have looked remotely harsh even if it was the bitter truth, and the attractiveness of Dr. Singh as the leader we desire becomes irresistible. This is even without considering the innumerable bonuses that came with his technical knowledge, his vast experience and his humble background that made him begin with a life of struggle.

Were there no downsides to Dr Singh? Of course, there were. History will pass judgement, and probably, as Dr. Singh himself said once, that judgement will be “kinder” than those who have accused him of presiding over an establishment that, all said and done, lost its path and ceded power to the BJP for the first time. The man Singh said would be “disastrous” in the job succeeded him as Prime Minister.

In Jan. 2014, he told reporters: “… I sincerely believe that it will be disastrous for the country to have Shri Narendra Modi as the Prime Minister.” Consider now that Singh himself saw this as a “harsh” comment later and issued a corrective, when he was asked years later about the original remark. In 2018, he said, “I did say Modi will be a disaster as the PM. Now I recognise I used a harsh word I should not have used. I don’t want to repeat it. But time is not far off when the public at large will have the chance to pronounce on the efficacy or otherwise of public policy which has been put in place by Modi-ji.” The statement stands out and will probably remain etched in history as one of the most graceful rejections of the idea of Modi as the Prime Minister of India.

Contrast this with the ugliness with which the politics over Dr. Singh’s funeral is being played out now, with the BJP attack dogs and stooges in the lead. An unnecessary controversy is sought to be raked up over the alleged Congress party mishandling of the last rites of the former Prime Minister P V Narasimha Rao when he passed away. The difference between grace and gracelessness is as sharp as ever. Almost every issue in the post-Manmohan Singh era is sought to be sensationalised, ‘gimmickised’ and/or communalism. Policies and schemes are under-baked and oversold.

On the one hand, we can see India pouring its heart out in memory of a life journey of grace. On the other hand, is a path of bitterness, a pulling down of civility and finger-pointing. It is the plain truth that the government delayed in naming a memorial spot so that the last rites for Dr. Singh was per force conducted at a public crematorium. If that simple statement is accepted, there will be no controversy and the government can go about fixing it now.

Generally speaking, it is said, leaders ought to be and often are concerned about the legacy they leave behind. Indeed, this is a question that all people are invited to consider at some point in their lives. An exercise used in everyday training programmes, often some version of the original mentioned in Stephen R Covey’s bestseller (‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’) is simple: participants are asked to imagine their death, and then to explore what they might like said at their funeral. The answer mostly has nothing to do with power, money, race, religion or caste. “What will you be remembered for?” is a question that triggers answers that mostly celebrate service, humanity and connection. The exercise can help people discover purpose, live more meaningfully and develop care towards fellow human beings. When the curtain falls, away from the heat of the trivial and the trumped up, the story is eternal: grace outshines the grandiose; the simple kurta will outshine haute couture; and small actions can speak louder than all the table-pounding, the chest-thumping or the blurting of one-liners.

As we step into the New Year, some of these messages are reinforced even more at a global level, where the respected former US President and Nobel Peace Prize laureate Jimmy Carter passed away in hospice care at the age of 100. The contrast between Carter and Donald Trump, who will be sworn in for a second term as US President on January 20, 2025, once again, is stark. It is a similar story of grace versus gracelessness. Consider Carter’s clear and consistent position on Israel, his fight for the rights of Palestinians, or his words to the American people even before he became President: “If I ever lie to you, if I ever make a misleading statement, don’t vote for me. I would not deserve to be your president.”

It is true that Carter lost the next election to Ronald Reagan. Manmohan Singh after two terms lost to Modi. Near-term twists led to a gathering storm that dictated the turn of politics in both cases. Yet, long after they are gone, leaders known for their grace will stand out as winners in hearts, minds and history books.

(The writer is a journalist and faculty member at SPJIMR, Mumbai. Views expressed are personal. By special arrangement with The Billion Press)